Bible verses about anger, and what to do with it

Angry, yet not sinning

Paul is writing to Christians in Ephesus about how to live together. Be angry, and do not sin is a quotation, and it admits that anger will come. What matters is what you do with it. He adds that the sun should not go down on your wrath and that you should not give place to the devil. The text does not say how, but it treats anger that is kept as an opening for harm.

In practice this can start with telling God, in plain words, what you are angry about. The Psalms are full of people saying exactly how angry or hurt they are. You do not need to pretend to be calm in order to pray.

Slow to anger

James writes to believers: be swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger, because the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Proverbs 14:29 says that a person slow to anger has great understanding, and a quick temper displays folly. Ecclesiastes 7:9 says not to be hasty in your spirit to be angry. All three point at speed. The Bible's concern is less that you feel anger than how fast it takes over.

A pause is a practical answer to all three. Ten seconds of silence, a walk or a short prayer gives the choice back to you. The SOS screen in Renounce works the same way for urges, putting a stop screen, a breath and a prayer between the feeling and the next tap.

Words and self-control

Proverbs 15:1 says that a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 29:11 says that a fool vents all of his anger, while a wise man brings himself under control. Psalm 37:8 tells the reader to cease from anger and forsake wrath, and not to fret, because it leads only to evildoing. Psalm 37 is a poem about not envying people who seem to get away with wrong, and the advice to stop fretting sits inside that setting.

The proverb sets venting against self-control. Telling God everything is one thing. Pouring all of it onto the people near you is another. Bring the whole feeling to prayer, and choose your words for people.

Putting it away, and leaving justice to God

Colossians 3:8 tells believers to put away anger, wrath, malice, slander and shameful speaking. Ephesians 4:31-32 repeats the list and gives what replaces it: be kind, tender hearted, forgiving each other, as God in Christ forgave you. In Romans 12 Paul tells believers not to seek revenge, to give place to God's wrath, and to overcome evil with good. Putting anger away does not say that nothing wrong was done. It hands the judging to God so that you stop carrying it yourself.

Anger carried for a long time wears people out, and worn out people look for relief. If a hard day ends with a pull toward lust, that is a good moment for SOS, a prayer and a message to a friend.

• Name the feeling in one sentence to God before you do anything else.
• If your anger is about something unsafe or abusive in your life, tell someone you trust and get help. These verses do not ask you to stay in danger.
• If your anger has led you to hurt someone, or you are afraid it might, tell a counselor or doctor soon. Help is available, and asking for it is a strong step. In the United States you can call or text 988 at any hour.

A prayer for anger

Lord, you know what I am angry about. I bring it to you before I bring it to anyone else. Make me slow to speak and slow to anger. Keep me from turning it into something that harms me or another person. Teach me to forgive as you have forgiven me, and to leave what is not mine to you. Amen.